A divorced husband and wife enjoying each other’s company.
The little ego desires what it does not desire, needs what it does not need. It goes after most avidly what it later finds is so very different from what would be good to have. But then things turn again and even the most unconscious patterns reveal their redemptive glory. It all depends on where you are along the spectrum: the initial expansion, the inevitable contraction to follow, or the tempered and seasoned expansion later. In the middle point, it can be hell. But things start out so amazingly and they end up as such a gold mine of experience and self-understanding from all this. Much of life is midstream and involves meeting shadows, enduring reversals, and basically being forced to go absolutely everywhere you never wanted to go. The reason it comes out right in the end is that you move through all of it and discover there is somebody in here who knows how to do that and who remains unscarred, not even discouraged, and is just waiting for the next opening to take up the Earth’s schooling in the way that fiery souls invite and welcome, strangely enough.
A horn of brass to be used as a hearing aid.
Subnormal and supernormal as one. Bearing a karmic handicap in which you cannot get away from yourself for a moment. Yet this opens the doors to a destiny-dedication that is monumentally strong. Your world reverberates endlessly with your own individual themes. You are trapped in the form of individual selfhood. Yet for all its excesses and fanaticisms, this is the perfect situation to lead you through to where you need to go. Because by meeting yourself at every turn, in every possible guise, you are deeply pulled down into a self-expansive pathway where there had been extreme constriction and radical blockage. The transition is arduous and consuming. It feels as though it is impossible to break through. But the very things that characteristically and thematically just will not let you go shall become the ultimate springboard. You wear out your old programs the hard and laborious way, by being at their mercy and learning that somebody in here is ready for something fantastically different and will do whatever it takes to thin out all the delusions, and make personal egoism intolerable, insufferable, and just too big of a joke not to get, ever again.
Hyperactive. Engrossed in sensations. Absolutely fascinated by the ins and outs of everything. Training yourself arduously to become completely present in the action. Insisting upon getting it right. Aiming for spirit and flesh to merge. Knowing how to do it and feeling sharply motivated. However, the little self does get carried away with the literal outward experience so very easily. You must battle to harness your powers and to pull yourself away from random delight. It is quite a journey, with one great thing going for yourself. You just know that you can do anything you set your mind to, and you are correct.
A gardener collecting cow manure.
Bonding with the immediate, external task and swallowing yourself up in its container. Finding sanctuary in excellence, practice, discipline, conscientious carry-through. Becoming engrossed within the task itself and its way of life. Harnessing vast vision into detailed particulars, you succeed marvelously in becoming what is asked, turning yourself into the one who fits the role, the pure servant. But a subtle presence, a deep authority, an otherworldly overtone give you away. You’ve been assigned to veil the self in lesser things so that you will be undisturbed to work within and do spade work for planetary evolution. Yet the call is so critical that often even your own conscious self has little idea why none of this posturing ever seems quite real and your entire expression seems a little too perfect, too much of a set-up, too snugly fitting to be convincing to those with eyes to see.
A seemingly young man, but with gray hair.
When different sides of the soul have developed to drastically different points, you become a strange mix, a hybrid brew. Simultaneously ancient with wisdom and vibrant with youth at best, or perhaps at once aging rapidly and still unformed. Those facets that are older and wiser have developed a greater mode of perception over long cycles of time. Those facets that remain young and unformed have not kept up with the greater awareness in the personal expression and embodiment. Therefore your knowingness is advanced, yet your performance is as a novice. The hardest part is to accept and embrace yourself as you are and to forgive and transmute what sometimes seems like a lack of courage and individual strength under fire. The only way this combination can become integrated is if the advanced witness acknowledges the unconditional value and intentions of the fledgling personal one who will flourish and start to catch up if loved and fostered. Your own inner self is the central benefactor, the one who can say “Yes,” and bring life forth abundantly.
A hamster running in a treadmill.
Keeping up with things can be an all-consuming matter, because everything changes all the time. There are always fresh angles to master. And when you are coming from a very old place, it is not so easy to shake yourself loose and become the next thing asked. To do it you may have to turn yourself into a super-high-powered accomplisher, converting ancient ways to radically different eras. You are personally, privately one way and publicly, impersonally, another way, turning it on to suit the occasion. The karmic performer in overdrive, hustling to catch up. At times compelled to rely on tricks. Frantic to cover all bases, to be everywhere. Pushing yourself to learn how to operate within a contemporary world that is alien, at a loss. Yet also gifted, bringing with you from the heart of nature such jewels and wonders that the world may ask, “Why do you cast your pearls before swine?” But there are moments in the journey when doing whatever is called for becomes its own reward, even if the pace is grinding and the recognition sparse. Something bright abides and sustains you beautifully.
A very weak cup of tea.
The outward performance is thin and tenuous, not much there at all. The inner journey is huge. You are concentrating so utterly upon the cosmic mysteries that all personal and even individual reputation and reflection seem pathetically small and insignificant. You are being zapped by huge forces, taken on the cosmic grand tour. As the deep inner opens, the surface outer becomes formal and almost wooden. You are called away. Rarely present in a human context. It all depends upon how far you are willing and able to go with this. If you blast free into an expanded selfhood activation, everything will form around that whole new world to be in. But if, as so often happens, you are not quite here, but not quite all there yet either, the transitions can be excruciating; as you prepare for the infinite life, but are hooked back into the regular life and snagged by image and impression. For you will be consistently reflected back to self as one fragment of yourself and this can be awkward and inwardly agonizing. All you want is to wake up and become your greater self. And meanwhile your lesser self has lots to handle, standing in for someone who is never quite home.
A young woman sits at a piano and improvises beautiful music.
Aristocracy and fine breeding open a space for the inner heart to sing. Being aware that you are given manifest advantages which make it likely that your talents and abilities can flourish. Past life attainment pulls in present lifetime congenial context. But a shadow creeps over this beautiful scene. You take on how others see you and reflect you. Which leads to, in one direction, becoming the performer who plays to the audience, losing your center. And in the other direction, to becoming the one who suppresses and feels guilty about outstanding individual attributes and colludes in going against yourself. Many possible directions. It all depends upon ripening to be simultaneously proud and humble, magnificent and sober. A path of character evolvement with many places to get lost and a very strong will to work through it all, becoming fully who you are in a way that gives life to everybody and takes nothing away from anybody anywhere.
A solid gold egg.
The bare stark truth. The singular accomplishment of heavy labors. An extraordinary gift, yet it is endangered. The gift is to be quintessentially yourself, and this gift abounds. Surrounded by danger; seen falsely by others, turned around. Digging your way out of history, you are compelled to puncture the illusion of image. The drama distorts. What is pristine remains inviolable, yet so much is lost, irretrievably. Each subtle weakness takes charge. The long way around to a very simple quality that would mean nothing unless it were first gone. Suffering and self-knowledge. All comes easy; nothing comes easy–the riddle of destiny.
A man putting olive oil all over his body.
Physical life is so much agony and so much ecstasy that it stretches your body’s ability to move with the flux and ferment. You are called upon to behold yourself, to witness to the central flame and to endow your personal embodied self with a daily rhythm of self-remembrance and self-revitalization. You can do nothing for anybody else unless you are whole within yourself. There is an urgent call, an inward stirring to offer to yourself the full power of your destiny path, to become bonded and fused with the truth of your being. There is also a transcendent power, a greater selfhood-presence blessing, preserving, and sustaining your path in this world. So that the light can burn brighter through the joy in your heart and your vital physical embodiment, given through yourself to all.
A boy removing a thorn from his foot.
The fatal flaw. Knowing with excruciating clarity that you are bearing a character flaw that goes against everything you seek and hunger for. The flaw is that you do not stand firm and back your self up in your own truth. Instead, you pretend that you are a more superficial or easygoing prototype. But you do not get away with it internally. A dark dispute develops inside, subtly poisoning the atmosphere. And somehow, slowly and gradually, despite yourself, you are being hurtled toward an abyss that you cannot avoid–to cross over the abyss, to uproot physically, energetically, and emotionally your claim against yourself, your self-negation. And when this happens, a sober clarity of self-affirmative strength comes right in and proves to be a gift for all your world, worth every ounce of arduous effort to attain.
The mouth of the Amazon River.
Rarely can you get to the central place and stay there. But if destiny is fast and free, you do abide in the heart of creation and you never leave this spot. A host of virtues and gifts are showered upon you as you hold this post with supreme impersonal self-command. The most outstanding of these qualities is a faith and confidence in the powers that be, which can move any mountain. And accompanying this trait is an unworldliness which hosts or orchestrates a threshold awareness, an open door between worlds. You entirely live for the cosmic, the universal, the inner sourcespring. And what you perceive along this path is how everything goes out from here over all the world, but everything returns to here. So that the highest and the truest can once again be sparkled into the shared stream and known to be pulsatingly alive and self-renewing, in the most rapturous gesture of moving with whatever is asked.
A man painting scenes on a ceiling.
Inspired soul gifts. You are endowed with a great wealth of talent and ability–the natural artist, visionary, and attuner. Everything overflows. Huge scope, bigger than life; issues of ego; can the self be selfless? Raw vitality and virtuoso performance. This calls for a ripening and deepening to be fulfilled. When still bold and wild, you experience great struggle against constraints; when clear and steady, there are no limitations on what can come through. The prototype for the future. Giving the whole picture in all its glory.
Fields of jasmine flowers.
To be surrounded by love is the heart’s delight. To contact a grace-bestowal of love and of light as your birthright is the greatest fanning of the human flame. When there is brightness and bounty as far as the eye can see, the inner self knows they are welcome to embody here. To inhabit this realm is to be in paradise and it is to bear a seed from paradise, from the unfallen kingdoms, into this world now. You hope and yearn to deposit that seed wherever it can flourish. This will tend to be where things are just beginning or alive with future fertilities. The seed honors the original impulse behind Earth existence. And this paean of praises, this ode to joy, remains solidly in there, ready to emerge when conditions are right and there is nothing left to do except brighten into being.
A woman with many different colored rings on her fingers.
To be quintessentially yourself in so many different directions is to be big, impressive, and very dramatic. Your individuality is blessed with innate gifts and treasures unlimited, an embarrassment of riches. The outward temptation is to play this up and use it up. The inward path is to develop it into ripe and mature full-on individual genius. However, it takes an advanced soul to be able to move steadily with such intoxicating qualities. And it takes the utmost in sincerity, simplicity, and core presence to just be there while having loads of outstanding, amazing attributes to show and share and give forth freely, with such royal stature and destiny.
A red-faced man, tears running down his cheeks. He is laughing convulsively.
In the warp between the worlds, being a representative of one world in the midst of another and being almost invisible. Tending to disappear off-screen and reappear somewhere else. Transported by a special destiny, slipping by the borderguards. As the uproar happens the deep observer looks on at the role the self is playing, which is so incongruous to who one is truly. But the karmic instructions are to play along, and later all shall be revealed. This is a very peculiar soul condition–taking all the loose ends and finishing them off, to be sprung into a different realm at last.
Elegant black women sitting on a porch and fanning themselves.
Rising superior to apparent limitations, you defiantly renounce the letter of the law to salvage the spirit of the law. Puncturing pretense. Breaking down power and control structures. You are militantly outrageous, antitraditional. Pulled forward by a vision, a knack, an instinct for what this Earth asks and demands. On fire with the power of radical changes, you feel in your cells the next stage in evolution. Ignited by the sense for being selected out as the quintessential representative of progressive currents, you dramatize yourself, your cause, your expanding awareness. You want to make sure everybody knows that something new is going on around here, and that it will not stop nor take a back seat to anybody or anything.
A rose bush. Many buds, but no flowers.
Remaining inside while feeling urgently, outwardly called, you stay put and hold steady in the face of immense pressures and demands. The greater the onslaught, the more adamant the determination to stick to your own lights. Knowing inside that you cannot spread around what you bear, for you are seeking to regenerate the Earth, and every social sphere speaks a different language from the Earth’s inner call. It is not possible to tune out what lives within. You must abide with fierce integrity in the center of things and never stop no matter what. For you are giving a legacy to the future and it has nothing to do with momentary events and trends. You are working for what lasts, and everything else seems dim, peripheral, and purely customary.
A hummingbird feeding at a trumpet vine.
Heightened perception exquisitely poised, brilliant and as fast as can be. You have the genius of seeing things, knowing things, and being there. Overflowing with destiny-bounty earned over many lifetimes, yet you bring all this through with a fine-tuned ability to land in the situation at hand with only as much as can be worked with. You are guided to follow an extraordinary course through the world, which features the perfect opportunities to tap what is inside in so many different ways. The blessings, the grace, the heart’s wonder are superfull. As this way of being ripens and matures, it becomes even better. Then you begin to draw out from others the same kinds of marvels and wonders, and to make it possible for the vibrancies to spread and grow. With a wildfire capacity to spread good news and bring affirmative realizations wherever they are needed in generous profusion, you work with ever more effortless capacity to bring this world alive.
A black pearl hidden in an oyster.
Working very hard to find again what is lost, to get at what is conspicuously missing, it takes tremendous inner forces to restore the pearl. But most of all, you must vanquish your pride and acknowledge from the core of your being that going through this world without your deep soul intact is hell. If you seek, you shall find. If you ache, you shall come to a restored wholeness. But not without the suffering, the grief, and the facing of the void; initiation in the depths. It is a superb path if you have the courage and stamina for it. But midstream it is cauterizing, corrosive, and deadly; appearances are deceptive; nothing is as it might seem for a while. What matters supremely is guts and integrity.
A holly bush covered with berries. It is in the snow.
Ornamental display and deep underpinnings. Within the karmic theater you perform to the hilt as your best self and your worst self grappling with each other in extreme mutual polarization. The witnessing intelligence is far removed from this dramatization, and registering every nuance from beyond. Within the precincts of the drama there is also a compulsion to go against form and show the other side, against what is expected or assumed. Yet as the observer beholds this very compulsion, it is minor and trivial, only a personality quirk. The inward wisdom drives you, the karmic performer, to outdo yourself in switching and reversing polarities. But ultimately you are not amused and archly await steps toward maturity and the dawning of ability to see through yourself on the spot. Which is a very difficult and advanced state and the only one that inspires and urges onward this quixotic combination of outward entrapment and inward fair witnessing with the utmost dispassion.
An alligator swims slowly through a swamp.
Imperious self-command. The self, entirely conscious of its own territorial rights and privileges, exerts a presence, a force. Saturating the atmosphere with one’s love, light, and intensity. Big and bright, deep and formidable. So very purposive that your every breath is conceived to be part of the master plan. Grandiose and inflated, yet into something so essential that it is very difficult to go against. It is the ingrained aura of spiritual authority and cosmic intent, linked with the heights, seeping into the depths. You become so enduring and insistent that others back out of the picture. Graphic demonstration of being here now in your element, doing what you need to do. Sinuous, suggestive, sensuous, and somewhat prone to pushing it a bit. The inner light upheld at the cost of any and all extraneous factors.
An old man cutting mistletoe off an oak tree with a golden knife.
Spectacular attainment. Peak capacity. Everything prepared and ready. The consummation of lifetimes in the destiny-drama of self-mastery. Your tireless pursuit of perfection and gift of knowing what is asked are charged with collective power. Marking out a pathway which shall remain always. The Gods inspire, the hour is ripe. Demonstration is constant–the rhythm is the one the inner worlds are synchronized with. And the whole idea is to become selflessly yourself, offered to the Goddess and emergent through time as the God-Man boldly, uninhibitedly, all there.
Sunrise over Stonehenge.
Immortal stature. Undiminished interior presence. A throwback to heroic times and places, character elevated, the universal code upheld, you are stalwart, uncompromising, and even rabid. Vertical understanding and allegiance. Exquisite sensibility. Nobility and the core of human nature embodied. You have a subtle undertone of magic and miracle, yet you’re often overtly quiet, simple, and straight. All goes into the spirit, poignant and evocative and moving.
A circle of neat houses, each one identical.
Mapping out a blueprint, a great plan. Designing into it the perfect escape route, which is anonymity. Going under for the duration, you make absolutely sure that you look and act like a clone of any given prototype that calls no attention to itself. With everything splendidly in place and the perfect disguise solidly maintained, you are safe inside to go into absolutely anything. The inside track becomes as fanciful and free as the outside track becomes innocuous and banal. This way of doing it is half-mad and half-brilliant. It is half-mad in that it is so suppressive to any prospects of expressing and embodying your real self in this world. And it is half-brilliant, offering such outward stability that the inward formative chaos can romp without disturbing the neighbors or anybody–even your own ego-mind. Ultimately it is the perfect way to grapple with being vastly other, yet still needing and wanting to be an integral part of things–loved, accepted, and welcomed. It is a strange bargain, but is, you feel it deeply to be, viable, inescapable, and true.
A fire burns at the bottom of an old well.
Deeply, foundationally held away, asocial and centered upon individual treasures of ancient vintage, you are hostile to close approach. You need leverage and control, and are driven toward extreme autonomy, remembering the way it has always been. Deep in there, warmly radiant, you focus on keeping alive what has gone out upon the surface–a karma of caretaking the mysteries. But your personal expression veers toward crusty, hard-edged, protective, and guarding behaviors that can become obsessive and almost paranoid. Your rigid commitment is to holding steady and outlasting sympathetic cycles and contexts, with a note of fierce conviction that this is all that counts; nothing must moderate or minimize or relativize what has been agreed to and made an iron law.
A beaded curtain.
A double identity: outwardly conventional, appropriate, legitimate, and orthodox; inwardly alien, cosmic, involved with other realities, and boldly exploring the infinite. You feel compelled by inner necessity to maintain both worlds and to serve the outer by bolstering good will everywhere. Yet this is achieved with a fraction of your awareness and sensibility. Meanwhile the depths, the heights, the many worlds beyond are there, are attended to, are thoroughly made your own. You are the iceberg person with a wonderful tip showing and a fabulous wealth of goodies inside to partake in endlessly.
Men doing gymnastics.
Physical, material existence in a sturdy body in time and space is the greatest agony and the greatest ecstasy that could ever be. It is agony in that you are so weighed down by the gravity of things, sorely troubled, heavily impacted, just about immobilized. It is ecstasy in that you can do so much with it, and when you mobilize yourself to take hold of the body and wield it as an instrument and a vessel, the physical turns into a masterpiece, a wonder, a delight unsurpassed. You experience the heights and depths of ambivalence toward incarnation and embodiment, feeling both repelled and attracted by the core drama of life in this Earth. When you feel good, everything glows with promise. When your life-force ebbs and becomes stagnant, the world is saturated with abysmal dread. Learn to harness embodied selfhood into something more constant and satisfying, even with repeated bouts of coming up against resistance, and habit dying hard. Rigidity versus fluency. You have a creative dilemma with so much growth, outlasting your own inner enemies and becoming Earth-worthy in the physical–triumphantly and with lasting imprint.
A broken sword.
Consecration to a higher power. The giving-over of the personal will–the marvel of root change. Coming to the end of your own path, and it is just the beginning of the greater way. The heart must open. The infinite must be born inside. The destiny-necessity is there–so much karmic backlog. So many ways to be right and to be wrong. The realization in the very midst that there is nobody listening to the old tale and everybody is awaiting somebody else to come through. A profound and utter doorway into a great unknown. What has been is finished. What shall be is so very different. And what is now is a question and a prayer and a destiny that must find its redemption.
A woman sprinkling rose water in the four corners of a room.
Doing inner work in an outer world. Precipitating limitless spirit into dense matter. Working within higher laws. Tapping the sourcespring of existence. You are powerfully motivated to extend the range of the inner brightness into absolutely every facet of existence. So intensively purposive that you push yourself over every edge to achieve astounding things. You specialize in turnarounds, great shifts–personally and collectively. A vision burns through. You know that if you extend yourself just another notch further, the victory will be won. A knack for staying in there till something gives. A greater center of selfhood endows you with a central life radiance of unsurpassed glory. However, you tuck infinities away and appear as whatever is called for. And if your essence-spark shines through, it is incidental to the great design of bringing heaven to earth and being the one who makes that possible, selflessly and joyously and serenely.