A tunnel through a mountain.
When darkness comes, you need more darkness if you’re ever going to find the light. As the struggle of Earth existence descends upon you, you must find a way to harness the power of that struggle to turn death into rebirth. But it is so pressurized and absolutely relentless a path to walk. Everything you meet reflects the same destiny-dilemma. For you are being pulled through the collective nightmare by an immense evolutionary force, and that means feeling everything, experiencing all of it, and letting everything go. Those pulled in to such a radical track develop core perseverance magnificently and learn to be light while superheavy, and to stay loose while bearing down in tight passages. Eventually, glorious things happen and you can emerge into a whole other reality, knowing how purposeful every step has been, that all of it was necessary and redemptively built a character strength of a mighty fiber, as you knew it would.
A large stately bronze horse.
Pride. Stupendous and rigid pride. “I am right.” You have held tightly within reputation, stature, the highest standards, the way it should be. Revering the authority that is central. Vastly given over to schemes and dreams. Idiosyncratic and self-referential, immune to reflection. Driven from before. And always standing up for yourself forcefully, while inwardly self-betrayal oriented and doubtful. Political intrigue. Maintaining the appearance. You don’t know how to stop. Karmically transfixed by convictions, forces, factions, and biased points of view that seem inevitable. Nothing ever changes, stuck with the same destiny-edge, deeply at the mercy of what has gone before. A link in a chain, strictly enforced.
Pigs being fed.
Feast or famine. Generating a world with an on or off switch. By pressing the off switch habitually, none of your deeper needs or desires are being met, and you resent this with an internal grumble that eats away at your substance. The on switch, pressed in emergencies when you have nothing left, pulls in a very full response to what you crave. Suddenly everybody and everything are there filling you up with goodies. Yet as soon as you have had your fill you starve yourself down to spiritual emaciation. Denying yourself everything is a karmic pattern that you are chronically hooked on. Granting yourself brief reprieves from this ancient sentence is the only way to blow off steam and survive for another round. However, you do acquire a taste for the plus state to come, realizing that if you can release the past, everyone else is willing. And all signs are forward as soon as you let up stinging yourself for past misdeeds and come afresh to life, hungry and willing.
A loud roar as a tornado approaches.
The storms of the world come right through where and when they are needed. They must wipe out ordinary consciousness and bring into play every kind of released spirit and force. When we live in the thick of storms and with always another threatened or impending, we are impelled into depth emotions, tumultuously drawn to activate the undersoul, personally and collectively. You sense the violent urgency, for everybody round about, of whatever you are going through. And so you are plunged into storms to seek cleansing and release, to bring up what is under there and let it play itself out freely. You do this with temptations toward every obsessive or addictive state imaginable and with a tremendous guiding force leading you through any and every extreme, to make all of existence come alive from deep inside–elementally, primally, and regeneratively.
An Egyptian queen with a braided beard.
Bearing intact ancient faculties of an unusual kind. Held between polarities. Fusing together darkness and light, masculine and feminine, earthly and heavenly. An enigma or riddle of destiny. You are motivated to bring together what has been rent asunder by an implacable force of blind determination. Exceedingly resistant to distraction and diversion, you’re almost maniacally committed to reforging an initiate’s vision in contemporary application. Where the past is held with such undiminished force, it remains at work inside forever. To tap this place wisely and well requires consummate skill. Otherwise, it tends to be self-serious, obsessive-compulsive, and in many ways indigestible in its obdurate reassertion of ancient codes, with so little sensitivity to the human factor.
A dancer with eight arms.
Each and every dimension carries with it a path to follow, a way to become fulfilled within that channel. It is human nature to restrict yourself to one dimension or perhaps two at a time. But nature is no longer enough within the evolving matrix in this planet. Here is the departure point, the mutational edge: the willingness and capacity to develop simultaneously in all eight primary dimensions. Bearing this seed is the most sacred and high-level of tasks. You are being ushered into limitless vistas within. All the new capacities are arising at the same time from every side, and all can be creatively combined into an entirely new way of being. But it takes a life-force that is disciplined, harnessed, mastered. Even in the initial stages, this calls for absolute dedication. If you become overly impressed by yourself, the juices are cut off, everything freezes. But as you learn to cut through all images whatsoever, the fount again supplies boundless vital spark to orchestrate the impossible. Evolutionary breakthrough arises through the physical organism of those individuals who have prepared accordingly. Here is the greatest display of inward ability that can be imagined. May the highest Gods speed you along your finest quest for perfect embodiment.
A small cave located high in the hills and filled with goat dung.
Tumultuous changes. Hanging on to previous identities, ego fragments, and the shrapnel of personal illusion. You are plunged into a karmic process that exposes what is real and what is not, yet harbor such intense old places inside that it takes massive overhaul to get anywhere. Forcing yourself up against a brutally harsh karmic path of exceedingly rough process. But this is what it takes when you have built up in reserve so much retrogressive stuff that you must be enveloped by it in order to uncover a way to be yourself again, without all these barnacles and burdens. Fierce shadow world. Under duress, personal and collective. Tremendously powerful, treacherous and rewarding. Not for the fainthearted.
A retarded man with white hair. He has an angelic countenance.
Split down the middle between advanced and retrogressive dynamics. Karmically a hybrid mixed from opposite sides that seldom go together. Grafting onto an exceedingly inward nature a pointed and driving ambition to become somebody. Yet your inward nature contains within it a host of retrogressive pulls of great power and intensity, and your newfound footing in the world of self-mastery is tense and pressurized by shadows of the past threatening to engulf whatever territory you can begin to make your own. A titanic battle waged behind the scenes between wisdom and folly, both of them bearing immense lessons to move through. The folly is a crucial ingredient to ensure that the attainment of wisdom will also feature compassion and bone-deep endurance. A journey for the long-haul, contested at every split second. Requiring first as much courage, strength, and inner will as you find in there for this purpose, everything being right where it needs to be for the impossible to occur and all of the chains to be cut loose.
A hand with six fingers.
Complex nature. Containing within yourself an extra spiral of self-obsession and ultimately superlative capacity. Subjecting yourself to grueling ordeals, rites of passage. Knowing that if you can eliminate your stark weakness, you can grasp hold of your boundless strength. The weakness is that you refuse to believe in yourself, and this is a hard one to uproot. You must, against the grain, find any and every possible way to get around your own adamant self-rejection. The weakness is based upon karmic past experiences in which you failed yourself. Now you assume it will happen again. So, building up strength and courage inside, toward self-overcoming, is the path. And paradoxically, in order to forge such a deepening of life-will, you must endanger yourself and expose yourself to radical crises, in order to rally to your own side and come into your truth in the midst of cutting through your falsehood; thus reclaiming the primal ground of a form of selfhood that is mutational, wildly improbable, and just could be real after all.
On a human nose a wart that turns into a diamond.
Destructive patterns come around to regenerative places when they are persisted in tenaciously, yet with an eye toward the destructive patterns destroying themselves. Immense wells of misery have accompanied you through the miasmas of being viciously against yourself. And when the misery and the hatred have spent their wastage and their fury, the inner-core self arises unscathed, and incorporates the darkness and the anguish into the ability to raise the dead, to generate miracles, to face everybody with the unfaceable. The veteran of severe internal battles turns around and acknowledges that there is something burning at the center of your being, an essence spark which is immortal and can survive and flourish in the thick of the worst, your own veiled yet potent inner light guiding the journey and never flickering.
Gnarled twisted trees against an overcast sky.
Seeing the worst, feeling the worst, knowing the worst. In tune with darkness, difficulty, and melodrama, you are sharply drawn to points of view and ways of life that bear the stamp of irony, skepticism, and doubt. There can be a corrosive immersion in cycles of falling for the worst. However, you are closely watched by guiding spirits and allowed to become only so far shadowed. And then a massive corrective action asserts itself, reversing many terrifying patterns. Playing with fire, checking out the dark side of the tracks. But inwardly you seek regeneration and even salvation in the most unlikely places, which in the ultimate reckoning may be the most likely places.
A young man with a frail body but a beautiful and noble face.
Old roots crumbling. New self emerging. Historical underpinnings not very strong. The vision of what can be burns bright and clear. You’ve been held back a long time by questions about health and safety, viability and durability. Always seeming on the way out, yet the internal image of who you are intended to become looms large and seeks to become incarnated. The battle between what could never be and what must emerge. The underlying feeling tone is that somehow, barely, despite all odds, the infinite one can be born directly in the shell of the one who could not be, and then all bets are off. Absolutely anything is possible.
Someone tells a joke and no one laughs.
Discordance between inner self and outer world. Myriad forms of conflict and misunderstanding. The intensity of what has been building up inside has gone too far for too long and has become angry, vengeful, and saturated with resentment. Meanwhile, the broader environment has come to seem, in hallucinatory fashion, to exclude everything you bear, and even to grotesquely deny your chances for a meaningful life. And so you dramatize karmically over and again the preprogrammed sequence of bringing out inward treasures and finding them spat upon or being given no room to let it out. A state of brooding darkness ensues, fears and doubts multiply. However, a ray of hope exists. You must find, despite yourself, new ways to express and embody, implicitly embracing and encompassing the negative reflection feedback loop and saying “I can bring myself through another way. And this time, I will take the charge off, and just be authentic without expectations or assumptions. And if I do bring myself through this way, I know everybody will get the joke.”
Women dressed in black. They are wailing and mourning.
Darkness, heaviness, sobriety, grimness. Grief for lost worlds. Dramatically cleansing what must be let go. Freeing the spirit. Laboriously and intensively preoccupied with endings, and captivated by the past, you are fascinated with the decomposition of things. Living deep in the unconscious, inside collective dramas. Lost to yourself. Thrown into patterns, syndromes, worlds that require drastic measures to transform. A feeling of being cursed. A sensibility of doom. A creation of the worst inside. The long established, deeply ingrained consciousness of stark limitation. Getting under it and destroying it the long hard way.
A woman with a gold tooth.
An extraordinary gift, very abusable and utterly redemptive. You invent, conceive, bring into being whatever you hope for and whatever you dread. Usually the dreads come up more first and dominate for a while. In this cycle you scare up the world’s most extreme melodramas, each one of them marked “no way out, no way through.” If you should outlast your dread demons, and you shall, you will find, in a very different direction, that there are equally powerful hope angels. You hope and wish and yearn for everybody to go free and this wishing has deep, uncanny power. For you have been nourishing for a very long time two counteracting worlds: the one dark and heavy with foreboding; the other swept clean by the magical will to bring the world around right. The one who made the light go out brings the light back in a seasoned, tempered form. And this renewed light is phosphorescent, glowing in the world’s darkness, seeing the way clear, knowing it can be done.
Charon ferries the dead across the river Styx.
The bittersweet combination of death’s lessons and life’s issues and dilemmas concerning limits. Taking on the projection of the one who brings up, brings out, brings through what everybody would prefer to avoid. Deeply impressed with the humanity karmas around death, and especially around every kind of restriction and heavily pressured passage. Uncovering experientially the magnitude of fears and doubts, avoidances and negations. Yet almost irresistibly tempted to constellate these things, to dramatize personally the shadow worlds. A transformative path can be accessed if you forgive everybody their obtuseness and align with redemptive currents, in complete disregard of the old distortions and phobias–simply passing right through all of it to find a new freedom that is whole.
The mountain abode of a hermit.
A stronghold for secrets, hidden purposes, and inward streams to thrive and prevail. You live several lives in one, harboring the brightest, the darkest, the strangest, and the most wondrous worlds. Accustomed to the shadows and to meditation, prayer, and extraordinary discipline. Remaining in here forever. Absolutely uninvolved with surface affairs, no outer life whatsoever. But inwardly deep, intense, and overwhelmingly driven. Following through on ancient vows. A grim, heavy, somber tone. The capacity for root transformation and extraordinary realization. Your central focus is to be with God in the silence steadfastly, and there is nothing else that comes even close to feeling all the way through, on and true.
People holding hands around a table. One candle is burning in the middle of the table.
Intimate depths of camaraderie. Forces joined by spirit call. Gathering in the name of a greater vision. Pooling resources, tapping what each does best, both inside the self and in soul links with others. Avid to combine forces. The drive to fuse. Passion, desire, intent, a surge of power. Being hugely drawn to consume separativeness and attain to unity and wholeness. A path or journey that will put you through every test and trial imaginable. Fierce resolve. And encountering shadows and dissipations so thunderous and multiplex that it will take everything it has inside to see this one through.
A rope going up into the sky.
Cosmic connections left dangling until personal dramas have spent themselves, which takes a very long time. But the cosmic overtones accompany every phase of the journey. They give a peculiar quality to the auric field, as though everything already knew its origin and destination and that knowingness had turned all the colors up a notch. This puts the little self sharply on the spot, for everything is heightened, especially including the dramatic power of distortions and negations. These are amplified to an almost unbearable extent. An internal battleground between a surpassingly cosmic nature and a grossly fallen and distorted personal-emotional syndrome. And it is the way of things that the spotlighted karmic cycle of catching yourself in the act of being false must be consumed before the waiting realizations and reunions become fulfilled. A very sharp edge to events, with so much riding on seeing through your own folly, and freeing up the life-force to respond to the greater worlds with a tug and a sign that there is somebody home after all. The greater cycles can now begin.
A serpent wrapped around an immense egg.
Bearing deeply an entirely different future for yourself and everybody. Condemned to hold this off, preserve it, keep it warmed through, not break into it until the signal is given. This is a punishing ordeal, for you know inside a different kind of reality and bear it directly within. But still you must live as if without it. This eventuates in a barren world, an outwardly determined existence in which things must be endured just about forever. You are testing yourself, making sure that you are worthy to bear your great treasure across the abyss. Do you have the forces to be steady, implacable, sound and reliable, and not turn negative and become the resentful martyr? Do you know how to do the right thing even when you do not quite feel it inside? Deep at the core of your being incredible things are completely and utterly alive. And they will come through when you have fully overcome the old karmas and shown yourself to be strong, clear, and true, even in a divided world that is past-fixated and at the end of its cycle, hanging on a bit too long.
A pair of glasses with no lenses in them.
Brutally direct vision and will focused straight down the middle. An outrageously maverick sensibility, convinced that seeing it all just like it is, is the only way to go. Defiant of roles, masks, and secondary references. Hugely unimpressed by any form of privilege or specialness. Desperate to break through all barriers, to go for the jugular vein. Neither temperate nor balanced in any sense. In the path of bluntly insisting upon your right of way you encounter huge shadows, and you are sorely tempted to assume that they come from the others. But eventually, the hard way, the truth makes itself known that ornery self-righteousness casts its own formidable shadows, and each and every one of these lays a claim upon you, you cannot refuse. Only when the rage has turned to love do the karmic shadows disperse and bare existence then become a true place to be.
A rug woven out of rags.
You take everything you experience in all its roughage, just as it is. And you form a vessel that is hardy and strong and enduring and you put all of yourself into it, you leave nothing out. With fervor and intent, you put in there all the darkness and every difficult emotion you have got. For you are the quintessential example of what it has been like around here and how it feels. The collective karmas choose carefully those who can merge with what everybody is going through and by sheer guts take it further, perhaps toward mutational breakthrough. To qualify, you have to grind yourself to bits with rude honesty, even at your own expense. Because this is how it is, no shortcuts, no easy answers. Emotionally, this is the depth experience at its most intense. But there is an evolutionary drive of overwhelming power pushing you through the worst. And along this pathway you will definitely find out what you are made of and what has been stopping everybody and whether you have it in you to start things off again in a different direction in the Earth crucible, with no place to hide.
A collection of dolls.
The inside of things takes charge when the ego-self is out of the picture and we are free to go with our fancy. The outer side of things becomes purely symbolic, just one way to do it. When the formative soul has its way, the world is recreated in a different image. Eliminating the usual mental considerations, the formative soul sticks to how things feel inside, and pushes for a world that matches the inner pictures. Becoming bound up with subtle and hidden layers of existence and tuned out of what is obvious and straightforward. Deeply driven to move out beyond the known into other realities. A resourcefulness that knows no bounds. Able to turn anything back into what it was meant to be. In the process, you crack through every kind of consensus agreement, becoming an outlaw, fused with core existence and drawing the energy out of empty forms into what is here. When you can feel the magic and know it is real, it is the touchstone to make it all real again.
Coca bushes growing wild in the Andes Mountains.
The proliferation of worlds. Discovery that there is more, far more. The burden of knowing too much, too soon. And the desperation to escape from your destiny into any one of so many worlds. An overwhelming need to deny what lives within. A well-practiced art of self-evasion, intricate and advanced. Yet the pursuer, the destiny-being, is relentless and unimpressed with excuses. When tracked down and faced with everything you most fear, there begins a different journey to the heart of existence.
A doctor experimenting on himself with new drugs.
The analytical disposition carried to its furthest extreme. Life itself is barely valued. Individual survival is no issue. What counts is the truth, but sometimes it is a strange truth. A little bit too skeletal and stark and surreal to be a basis for ongoing life. In touch with dark truths, and at times abandoned to the power of death currents of a negative kind. Magnetically attracted to decadent thinking and distorted worlds. Supercharged with an almost random desire to find out what is in there. Clinical, quasi-objective, and piercing. You feel a great need to wake up out of the trance of fate and of darkness to learn to feel again, to have things matter, to have life prevail, and to return to yourself as a sentient being who deserves to be here free and clear.
A she-wolf. Her udders full of milk.
Bearing within you something vast and wild and true. Your instincts given over to this seed. What can be must be impels sacrifice and renunciation. Being held in the grip of vast, primordial forces. Taken over by depths that forge new worlds into being. Stunned into submission. Unconsciously obsessed with something that lives within you and cannot be forgotten. Supercharged with energy. In tune with the Earth’s cycles. Everything happening in a magnified and hypnotic atmosphere. The hidden worlds take charge. Individuality is eclipsed, and the surge of power dominates consciousness and life by its intensity and ruthless current right through the body, and there is nothing to say about it.
Three blue robin eggs.
Holding inside you a complete future vision. Preserving and guarding a limitless awareness of what can be and of what shall be. You feel so pervasively the impact of what you carry inside that each piece of it now becomes supercharged with meaning and archetypal power, beyond how it might seem to anybody else. Being in the preliminary stages of something so vast and staggering that even those stages feel momentous beyond conception. Just about bowled over by future destiny. The personal self of now is cast into shadow, seeming trivial, a throwaway. But so transported by prenatal resolves to go all the way this time that any sacrifice or difficulty is chalked up to necessary stages of rough process. And the inner mind holds its lodestar in view, and simply cooks inside till it’s time to boil over.
A building: the only part of it left is the cornerstone.
Sacrificing and renouncing the full flood of all you are capable of in order to make way for the bare bones of what stark destiny insists upon. Dropping everything to become attuned to collective destiny calls. Doing so often with considerable damage to yourself. A ruthless will, a fierce life direction. Almost no self-compassion or self-sympathy. It has got be this way if you are intent upon making yourself available to what is asked or intended, with every part of yourself out of the picture except your core indomitable conviction that something hugely important is going on here and all personal considerations are as nothing. This is a path that will draw you through some scary and extreme places–many deaths–and can draw you into a place of sheer one-pointed reality, into becoming as lucidly all here as can humanly be attained.
An umbilical cord.
Definitely completely attached, but what you are attached to changes drastically. Each time it is to the source of sustenance. If at first a mother, womb, an elemental past, it can easily become later on a great teacher, a path, a journey. You are still thoroughly, personally hooked into the sweetness, the juice, the power. Yet as the levels shift, as the attunement deepens, you go from destructive enmeshment toward incredible openings. And as you learn to cut loose from each last thing and to move toward the next greater thing, you become adept in the rough process of inner soul work. You have an extraordinary aptitude for taking the most binding and heavy-duty circuits and moving into and through them, grasping hold of the guiding influence of ever-greater circles of allegiance. Leading eventually toward mutation and evolutionary breakthrough of the first magnitude.
A very dark sky, but no rain.
Holding over yourself karmic matters. The probation of the soul. Intent is all. A karmic dilemma of long standing. An advanced stage of the warrior battling the self. A gloomy foreboding. Self-mistrust. Holding back at the edge with a heavy heart, with a desperation to break through. Yet you have an eerie capacity for denying yourself what is sought. Inwardly frightened, even terrorized. The imaginative dimension takes charge and death saturates it. There is an anticlimactic feeling when it should have happened, it could have happened and yet, it cannot and will not. Karmic crystallizations of will. Nothing truly moving onward until you experience complete surrender, radical self-overcoming.